So all weekend long I worked on the wedding shawl.
I’m determined that even if I didn’t finish it in time for my wedding, (a disappointment that still burns a little bitter) that at least the thing should go to Rhinebeck. It would too, except it is taking forever. Absolutely forever. I knit and knit and knit, and after a good long session I’ve got nothing. Last night the kids and I rented a movie and I sat down and knit my way through the whole movie. 107 minutes. Non-Stop knitting.
Now, this surprises me because as a general rule, I’m a fast knitter.
I’m reaping the benefits of 33 years of practice, and I’m pretty darned quick. I’m not Wannietta (who is officially the fastest knitter in North America) or Eunny or Wendy or anybody like that… but I’ve got me a little street cred, and I usually don’t embarrass myself, but TWO ROWS on a shawl in 107 minutes? That’s a humiliation.
There are, admittedly, a lot of stitches in a row, but still, something is wrong with the time space continuum on this one. I would begin a row and time would practically stop. It would suspend, the stitches seemingly endless, a half a row creeping by, each second dripping as molasses. In the time that I knit a row, whole babies could be born. Kings dethroned, economies ruined. This shawl is so slow to knit on that I took to giving myself a “whoo hoo” and a cuppa tea each time I hit the halfway mark on a single row.
This shawl is going so slowly that the other day when I realized that I had miscounted the chart and instead or 8 rows remaining, I had 10, it just about broke my spirit. What is it about this shawl that’s making it so slow? It isn’t me…. See this?
Yo. A whole sock. Cast it on Friday, cast it off Sunday. That’s good time for a sock. Darned good time. (That’s the Harlotty colourway from Socks That Rock. I’m so proud of it…I think it’s really me. All seventies appliance colours. Beauty.)
More proof. The new Diarufran sweater, booting along. There’s a sleeve, a back, most of a front. See? I can too get things done. I understand that there’s a pretty big difference between a wee sock or a stockinette sweater on 4.5mm needes, but doesn’t it seem odd to you that I could do most of a whole sleeve in an evening…or TWO ROWS?
I was trying to explain to Ken that I was seriously bummed about my speed on the shawl when he pointed out that they were long rows. I thought it was nice of him to try and make me feel better, but frankly , that can’t be it either. No way. I’ve done tons of shawls, some with 400 or 500 stitches on the needles near the end. It is not a big deal, and certainly not a cosmic time-deal breaker. I reiterated that to him and stressed the TWO ROW issue. I’ll admit that I was thinking that Ken was being to nice to me, as well as ignoring the clear mystery I was trying to convey to him. In a wave of frustration, I tried to prove to him that the rows aren’t that long, and it isn’t that hard and that truth be told, I thought we needed to look a little deeper at this. Maybe call a paranormal research group that investigates missing time or something. At the very least I thought he should stop looking at me like that while I tried to explain it.
I counted the number of stitches in a repeat and counted my repeats.
Then I sat down.
Then I recounted.
Then I checked my math.
880 stitches in a row.