Dear Everything I am knitting right now,
I know that it is Valentines day, and a better knitter would probably have left this for tomorrow so as not to scar you and spoil this day for you, but alas..we all know that I am not like that.
I have to tell you, my darling everything, that on this special day set aside for the celebration of love and romance. I am frankly, not feeling it.
You are all pretty damned boring. Now, I understand that relationships are like this, and that there are ups and downs and better and worse and all of that, and I understand too that this is the middle of February in Canada and that it’s hard to rise above that and be thrilling. I understand. As someone who is trying really hard to see the point in doing anything other than reading, writing and drinking tea until March comes….I see it. I know that part of this…well, deadness between us is my fault but since you are all living here in my home free of rent and getting decent closet space, nice needles and a whole blog about your existence and charms, I think that it’s clear that I am doing my part.
Not to be callused, my little woollen loves, but I feel that the time has come to point out to you that you are not really in a position to bargain with me. This house is full up to the top with yarn wants to be with me and the temptation…well. I am a knitter. It is yarn. There is only so much you can expect of me. You knew I was like this when you moved in.
I would humbly suggest to you that you start contributing to this relationship. It’s a two way street, and I need to feel like you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. I know that in the beginning I laughed at your jokes, the charming way that you wouldn’t get thumbs on straight or the way that you playfully hid yarn from me, or surprised me with unexpected yarn overs and stitch counts, but now? Now it’s getting old, and frankly life is too short to spend it with yarn that isn’t committed to the relationship.
I’ll meet you on the chesterfield at nine with my tape measure and needles and I’ll be ready to give it one more try.
(PS. Don’t let the new green yarn alarm you. We are only friends)